Inner Child

I don't know how I can start this page but let me try and please give me a few minute that you can read it.


I found my inner child.

One day every things got to be one which is like a chain and it connected I and something inside me. I think that was my inner child.

Before I met her, I believed that I grew up with full of pleasure and I'd lived in comfort just same as other children. I was sociable, I got many friends even right after I moved. I had many good friends any time.
So, I felt It was conceited that if I say actually I'm not good at building a relationship with others and I think I have something problem about that point. I shouldn't whine like that because I was in such a satisfactory situation, I always thought like that.

I'm becoming 25 years old. I left my parents house when I graduate my high school. I thought I was already mature. but sadly I was not. I can't tell anything like I got a boyfriend, I had pierced ears or even I make up outside to my parents. I know it's totally ridiculous but I'm afraid to be scolded by my parents. I don't know why I am like that and I needed something answer to solve my stupid conflict.


I happened to meet the word "Inner Child".
And the web site said "No one can love you the best, except yourself"

I wanted someone to save me and love me. I complained in my mind why my parents hadn't reacted to what I was doing? I wanted to be recognized. So It was just like a primary student but now I know only I can save myself since my age and my parents' age too. Then I wept because I was relieved. I can save myself. I can and I should love myself.

The web site also said "You should get back to your childhood and say It's alright to yourself and love yourself"

I remember my childhood and it might be small matters for other person.

The time I listened eagerly to a quarrel between my parents in my bed every night.
The time my father said to me such a boring report when he looked my all "well-done" school report.
The time my parents said "our discussions always can't get anywhere" then despaired each other. I was trying to be an invisible man in the backseat.
I was good at playing alone. Sometime I dealt out cards for four person then I played alone.

Now, I just sit close to her and play with.
I don't know I can do well but I want to face my inner child gradually and find the other hidden children and then I'm going to hug her tight and say, I love you.



I read this writing again then I know my words not enough but I did all I can.
already it's midnight. I should reserve it for another time.

I have to wake up early and go to CrossFit tomorrow.
See you again. Good night.

Miwa